No, we didn’t run off and get married. We DID seriously think about it! But then we started looking at the cost of flights to Vegas (thousands!), the cost of flights to Florida (no waiting to get married! Also, thousands!) or the cost of flying home (hundreds! Plus free accommodation! Thanks mom and dad). So it was pretty easy to make the decision to get married at home in Portland.
Initially we’d planned to get married right away. As in, as soon as I could organize something. We were going to make it small and intimate and try not to worry that not everybody would be able to come. It wasn’t ideal, but it was fine. It was ALL FINE.
Except, after awhile, it wasn’t really fine. It was stressful and I kept thinking, this isn’t how I want to do this! Finally my mom said to me, ‘you know, before you were so excited and now you just sound stressed. Are you sure you want to do this?’
At first I was thinking, yes, it is! It’s the smart thing! Except while it may have made more sense in some ways, it was making me miserable. I didn’t want to plan a quick wedding. I didn’t want to spend the first year of my marriage apart from my husband. And I really didn’t want to be so unhappy and stressed.
So we scrapped that idea! And we have now applied for the Immigration Visa for an Alien Fiance for Malcolm. Which I really enjoy, actually. I’ve started calling him my ‘alien fiance’ at all times just because it sounds funny.
It’s still going to suck being apart until the visa comes through. It’s still expensive and there are still SO MANY things to do and that’s just for the visa! I also still have to pack up my whole life here, move back to the United States, find a job, plan a wedding, get married, then apply for a ton of other stuff for Malcolm’s visa once he’s in the US. But at least I’m not miserable and I feel like I can deal with it all, we just have to take it one step at a time.
Because now that the visa application is sent off, the next big thing is the move home. Which happens in exactly 16 days. And I haven’t packed a single thing.