Posted by: Andrea | November 26, 2008

What NOT to write

I have a confession.  I’m feeling a little bit embarrassed about this particular behaviour, but I figure, confess, get it all out in the open, it’ll free you!  You’ll feel so much better knowing that this secret single activity is no longer your dirty little secret, that others may even do it too!  You never know!  Free your burden!

So here it is.  Sometimes, in my spare time, I look for cute guys on match.com, even though I’m not actively looking to date anyone right now.

I know, I know, pathetic, right?  But I figure, it’s like window shopping!  It can’t hurt, right?  RIGHT?!  my problem (to add ANOTHER problem) is that I’ve been looking for guys not here in Glasgow, where I live and therefore could feasibly date someone who I see, but back home.  In the United States.  Thousands of miles away.  Where I will not be living for another year.  It’s like my own self inflicted waterboarding exercise.

Now, I’ll admit, it first started because I just wanted to make sure not all the available single men had gotten married while I was away.  I was having one of those pathetic single girl moments where I was convinced that every single man was now TAKEN and that I’d be left either dating the elephant man or getting used to having lots of cats and talking to myself.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I DO talk to myself.  But who can do that all the time?  Sometimes my mouth gets dry and I want someone else to do some of the work.

Well, perhaps I should have been a bit more specific.  Because on the plus side, there are cute guys left in Portland!  On the negative side, they tend to say stuff like this:

Ok, a little candid clarification:
-Body type is important. When it comes to staying fit, I hold myself to an “above average” level. I’m fairly fit and plan to continue having a fit and healthy life. I expect the same from someone I date…we share an obligation to be attractive to one another.
-I’m allergic to cats. I like dogs, though!
– With respect to political views, I look for balance. If I had to make a turn, it wouldn’t be to the “left.”
– Finally, Match is a conduit for meeting people. Send an email if you’re serious about meeting. If you wink, don’t expect more in return.
Just being honest!

Well dude?  No amount of pictures of you smirking at the camera and performing various sports will make up for the fact that you are a jackass of the highest caliber.  Just being honest!


Responses

  1. I don’t respond to winks either. If you’re really interested in me, take a second to write an email and tell me. Winking? For real?

  2. Ok, honestly? As much as I immediately thought ‘jackass!’ to this guy, the whole ‘winking’ thing is true. I know if I decide to date online (which I have before) I’m not here to waste time, if you like me, email me! Don’t just wink to save yourself money.


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