Posted by: Andrea | July 28, 2008

Since I have nothing else to talk about…

So I’ve been pretty BORING lately for a variety of reasons – single now, no dates on the horizon, all my friends were out of town, my couch was so inviting, I just downloaded season two of How I Met Your Mother and felt the need to watch the entire thing this weekend – so I haven’t really had much to write about.  So, what else to do than steal a meme?  And a movie one at that, because I watch far more than I should.  (Thanks go to maleesha for the idea).

Oh, and just as a warning, I attempted not to include any spoilers at the beginning, but towards the end I was just dropping them all over the place.  So if you haven’t seen these movies and don’t want them ruined, stop reading now!

1.    One movie that made you laugh
Three Amigos


I absolutely adored this movie as a child and still do!  It hasn’t aged at all and still makes me laugh, even though I know every single joke by heart.  I have fond memories of laughing hysterically at the singing bush (voiced by Randy Newman!) and of Steve Martin, crouched on top of the studio wall, making ridiculous birdcall sounds trying to get the attention of the other two (‘Look-up-here, look-up-here, look-up-here!’).   It never gets old.  Seriously.

2.    One movie that made you cry
Brokeback Mountain

I saw this movie on Christmas Day with my parents, my brother and my sister.  We have a family tradition of going to see a movie together each year, which is pretty much the only time all five of us are ever together during the year.  For three years in a row we went and saw The Lord of the Rings movie, but the year Brokeback Mountain came out was the first one that we were Rings-less.  We initially went and saw The Chronicles of Narnia, hoping to continue with the literary-fantasy genre, but were slightly under-whelmed.  As we walked out of the theatre, we passed by an advertisement for Brokeback.  I mentioned I wanted to see it, as did all the rest of my family.  So we decided to come back four hours later and see that too.  That probably says a lot about my family in many ways!

I found this movie so beautifully told.  Both Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger played their parts so well, particularly Heath.  The way he portrayed this character that was so confined and restricted, even in the way he moved and spoke, perfectly represented how restricted he was in every area of his life.  I don’t want to ruin it for those who haven’t seen it, but that scene at the end, when Heath finds his shirt in Jake’s closet…well, I just cried like a little baby.  I’m very bad for crying at movies but this one I just felt like my own heart was broken.  It made me so upset and so angry that there are people out there who love each other their whole lives, but can’t express it for fear of their own safety.  And they did, they loved each other for the entire LIVES.  Ok I have to stop now or I’m going to start crying again.

3.    One movie you loved as a child
The Little Mermaid


No, I don’t mean the lameo Disney version (though I did see that in the theatre and loved it, yes I DID go to Disney movies as a teenager, so what?!).  This was an anime version of the original Hans Christian Anderson story.  Now, for those of you who don’t know, this story is TRAGIC.  This was serious, fairy-tale type stuff here.  Not the Disney happy-ending fairy tale, but the real, Brothers Grimm, people getting stuff chopped off kind of fairy tale.  In this one the Little Mermaid falls in love with the prince and sells her soul to get legs, that’s all true.  But she also has to feel like she’s walking on knives with every step she takes.  Then, when the Prince falls in love with someone else and gets married, the only way she can save herself is to use a magical knife, plunge it into his heart (on his wedding night!), let his dying blood wash over her legs and then she’ll get her tail back and can go home.  Of course she can’t do it because she loves him too much, so she gives herself up to the sea witch and turns into sea foam.  And the prince never knew she even loved him at all.

Now, I have NO idea why I loved this movie so much as a child, because hello, TRAGIC.  But I absolutely did and I begged my mom to rent it every single time we went to the movie store.  And every single time it made me so sad.  I honestly don’t know if I was hoping it would turn out different each time, even though I know it couldn’t, but I think we wore out that tape by renting it so much.  It’s a fantastic movie, by the way, though I think the only way to get it now is to buy it on ebay.

4.    One movie you’ve seen more than once
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind


Also known as one of the best movies EVER.  I adore this movie so much and I think I learn something new every time I watch it.  For anyone who hasn’t seen this, you must.  This is particularly true of anyone who has been in love.  Or wants to be in love.  Or finds relationships interesting.  Or anyone alive, basically.  The premise is that Joel (Jim Carrey) and Clementine (Kate Winslet) are at the end of a tempestuous relationship.  To get back at Joel, Clementine decides to get all of her memories about him erased.  When Joel finds out, he decides to do the same.  During the process, their entire relationship is erased backwards, eliminating the negative memories first and leaving Joel with all the sweetest ones for last.  When seeing all of these memories go through his mind one last time, Joel decides he’s changes his mind and wants to keep them, even if they were sad, and tires to evade the memory-erasers and hold onto Clementine.

This movie is fascinating and for all of you who hate any sort of fantastical movies, trust me.  Once you get past the initial premise, this movie is wonderful in examining love and relationships.  Would you fall in love with someone again, if you didn’t know what had gone on before?  Would you choose to fall in love, even if you absolutely knew it wasn’t going to work?  Could you ever truly erase someone?  Would you want to?

5.    One movie you loved, but were embarrassed to admit it
Newsies


I absolutely LOVED this movie for years and years.  I named my egg baby in 7th grade ‘Gabriel Dominic Parker’ after Gabriel Damon (Spot Conlon), Dominic Lucero (Bumlets) and Trey Parker (Kid Blink).  I played ‘Santa Fe’ for my piano recital in 8th grade.  I had a long and enduring love for Christian Bale based entirely on this movie.  I knew all the songs and attempted to learn the dances (not well).  I wrote fan fiction.  YES I DID.

Now, I realise that all of this has more to do with being a teenager and being OBSESSIVE than it did with this actually being a good movie.  But I still sort of love it.  And yes, that is seriously embarrassing.  Even more so than the fan fiction.  Incidentally, this movie’s choreography was done by Kenny Ortega, lately the director of High School Musical.  Clearly the guy knows a little bit about getting teenage girls obsessed.

6.    One movie you hated
Sex and the City


Now, to be completely fair, I didn’t HATE this movie.  But I seriously disliked it and have given several rants to various different groups of people about why I so seriously disliked it, so it wins.  I think I’ve probably hated movies more than this, but this one’s more recent, so whatever.  The reason I so disliked this movie has to do with one person: MR BIG.  God that guy is annoying.  And I hated the message this movie gave across, even more so because I enjoyed the series so much.  If you haven’t seen it yet, stop now, because there are going to be spoilers all over this.  You’ve been warned.

I, like many women, liked the series of Sex and the City.  I did NOT like Mr. Big.  He was arrogant and selfish and smug and didn’t treat Carrie very well.  For SIX YEARS he screwed her around and messed with her feelings and she just kept coming back for more.  I never truly believed he cared about her, even though I could see that the two of them did have a connection.  It’s the perfect example of what women do: they find that guy who is commitment-phobic and won’t treat them well, but because they have a connection, they forget all that other stuff.  Trust me, I’ve been there.  It’s stupid and immature but when you’re 40 YEARS OLD you know better.  I was accepting of the end of the series (Carrie and Big together) because it seemed like he finally got his shit together and was able to express his feelings and commit.

But THEN, the movie came out.  And I pissed me off.  I felt like they broke up Carrie and Big just in order to have a conflict they could resolve at the end.  And they did it in the most unforgivable way possible, by leaving her, at the alter, on her wedding day.  Why do this to us?  It just makes Big turn out to be an even bigger jackass than he was in the series.  I mean the man is over fifty.  He should know better.  He should trust and love the woman he is with and stop acting like a spoiled brat.  But the worst part?  Carrie just takes him back!  After he LEFT HER AT THE ALTER.  That is NOT something you forgive, especially after all the shit he put her through for the first six years of the series.  And even better, there are all the other girls, all excited they got married!  Yay!  You should totally forget your standards and let that total asshole treat you like dirt but it’s ok, because you got a ring and a big closet!  Hooray!

I hated this message and I hated what it said about women.  And friendships.  And men.  And marriage.  It was all just wrong.  I went to a Saturday sold-out screening and everybody else in the place was cheering at the end and I just sat there, staring at the screen in confusion, thinking, um…WHAT?!

Ok, sorry.  I’m calming down, I swear.  </rant>

7.    One movie that scared you
The Village

I know, I know, a lot of people mocked this movie, with its weird town and strange way of talking and totally lameo saw-it-coming-from-the-first-half-hour plot ‘twist’, but I actually really liked it!  I adore Joaquin Phoenix and I thought he totally sold his character and the relationship with Bryce Dallas Howard.  Regardless of the, yes, I’ll admit it, lame ‘twist’, I thought the end of this movie was extremely effective, mainly because of B.D. Howard.  When she’s out in the woods and she’s all alone, BLIND, that is some freaky shit.  Even at this point, you know there’s nothing out there, so when that freaky red monster thing shows up…AIEEEE!   What is it?!  IT’S NOT REAL HOW CAN IT BE THERE?!  Then when she’s standing behind the tree and you see it standing about fifteen feet away and then the camera moves and then it’s RIGHT BEHIND HER but she doesn’t know because she’s BLIND OH MY GOD!  Yeah.  That movie freaked me out.

8.    One movie that bored you
The Thin Red Line

I generally don’t remember movies that bore me but this is one I actually do remember.  I rented this after hearing how great it was, possibly even better than Saving Private Ryan, which came out the same year and won a ton of Oscars.  I’d heard all the drama, how Adrian Brody had this amazing part and was basically cut out of the entire movie, how the movie took forever to film, how it was supposedly this amazing story of the soldiers in the pacific.  Well…I was just really really bored.  It kept jumping back and forth in time and I had no idea what was going on.  After I realised that it was almost an hour into the movie and we hadn’t even gotten to the Pacific yet, I turned it off.  I have better things to do with my time.

9.    One movie that made you happy
Amelie

This movie is just awesome in every way.  I left the theatre feeling so happy.  I just adored the music and Montmatre and Amelie herself, who was so adorable and positive and thoughtful and romantic.  I can’t really explain what this movie is like, other than to say that I wish my life was like this.  She finds the joy in so much about life and has such a vivid imagination.  I loved her hair and her clothes and her cute flat and it just all made me happy!  Plus Nino Quincampoix is so cute and how awesome is that last name?

10.    One movie that made you miserable
Breaking the Waves

God this movie was DEPRESSING.  I’d heard good things about it, which in hindsight probably were solely about Emily Watson’s performance (she was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for this, her very first screen role).  She was very good, but that was pretty much all the good in this horrible, horrible film.  The whole Dogme film movement pretty much sucks, so don’t waste your time if you’re looking for anything less than horrible awfulness which ends in destruction and death.  Want to see a woman basically get raped until she dies?  Then rent this movie.

11.    One movie you weren’t brave enough to see
Passion of the Christ

I know this opinion isn’t going to be very popular, but I basically think this movie is an example of ‘torture porn’ with religious overtones.  I am Christian and at the risk of sounding trite, I love God and Jesus.  So why would I want to watch two hours of someone I love being tortured to death?  Nothing and no one could ever convince me to watch this movie.

12.    One movie character you have fallen in love with
I don’t think I’ve ‘fallen in love’ with any movie characters since I was a young teenager (HA!  Total lie).  But I have had major crushes on many.  Generally I have very strong connections to tv characters more than movie (Constable Fraser, I’m talking to you) but I had to highlight one just because I adore this movie and love him in it.  That would be the adorable John Hannah from Sliding Doors, who plays the ‘rather annoying chatty bloke from the tube’, James.  He’s so great in this movie!  He is the perfect example of the not immediately gorgeous guy totally winning you over with his wit and sensitivity.  He’s funny and sweet and supportive, plus he has the totally sexy Scottish accent in his favour.  LOVE HIM.


13.    The last movie you saw
The Happening

It was just…eh.  Not horrible, not fabulous.  I didn’t buy the chemistry between Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel, even though I adore Zooey.  The reason for all the deaths was just so-so and it was just kind of boring.  Not bad.  But not great.

14.    The next movie you hope to see
Hmm…I don’t get out to movies as much as I’d like.  I’d particularly like to see The Dark Knight but I honestly don’t know if I’ll get a chance.

If you made it to the end, congratulations!  Who knew I could be so chatty about movies?

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Responses

  1. This was excellent! I LOVED Three Amigos! El Guappo. The singing bush. Hilarity! All of these were great picks for the categories.

  2. You seriously can’t go wrong with the Three Amigos! My sister and I would sing the songs to each other when we were kids. And now. And always! The singing animals were so funny, plus the little tortoise. “G’night Ned!” Love it!

  3. looking forward to Dark Knight… Christian Bale does a consistently great job no matter what role he takes

  4. I too loved Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I love the scene where Clementine is outlining all of the bad things that are going to happen in their relationship and he says, “Okay.”

  5. I loved that scene too! There’s so much in that movie that is so romantic. And so true to life! Even the arguments and fights, everything I can relate to in some way.

  6. I liked The Village too! And here I thought I was alone.
    I remember when The Blair Witch Project came out and so many people where dissapointed with it. Geeze! People need to open their minds about these films. Just because you see the monster eating people doesn’t mean it isn’t scary. Those films scare me more because my imagination is pretty vivid.

  7. That’s so funny because I almost chose the Blair Witch Project as one of the scariest movies! I think people were disappointed (myself included at the time) because there was so much hype. But I caught the second half of the movie on tv one time on a saturday afternoon and even just watching 30 minutes, it really freaked me out. It’s an extremely effective movie entirely because you have NO IDEA what’s out there! I actually think when a movie shows you the big scary monster eating people in detail, it loses a lot of the scariness. The imagination is much more effective at freaking you out.


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