Posted by: Andrea | July 11, 2008

Back to the routine

Apologies for the long delay in posting (other than my previous little rant), but I had slipped completely into vacation mode and blogging was just beyond my abilities.  Home has become more and more like an entirely different world for me.  I go there and I just leave everything else behind, blog included.  This time around it was a complete whirlwind of activity involving a very large number of friends and family.  Oh, and spending money.  A LOT of money.  Do you guys realize how cheap things are back there?  I spend $16 on a regular basis for a burger from a pub.  When I got the bill for lunch with my mom and it only came to $20, I almost wet myself with glee.  And clothes.  My god, the clothes.  I spent $300 at Ann Taylor Loft (they were having a sale, sue me) and I didn’t even care because I got so much for my money.  Of course most of it was cute little tops, Capri pants and dresses that I’ll never actually be able to wear because the sun goes into seclusion for nine months of the year in Scotland.  But they were so cheap!  How could I resist?

I was completely romanced by home and by the joy of being away from work and totally taken care of.  My mom let me drive her car and rented another one while I was home (I don’t have car insurance anymore but am covered on my parents’ cars).  I had fantastic meals cooked for me practically every night and didn’t even have to do the dishes.  I met up with all my friends and it was so wonderful to see them all again.  It was warm and sunny and all I had to do was shop, get my hair cut, visit with friends and family and relax.  And eat.  Never forget the eating.

It’s no secret to most people who know me (and everyone else who read about it right before I left) that I’ve been thinking about moving back home for awhile now.  I feel this need to get a change, to move forward somehow, to start that ‘new chapter’ in my life instead of rehashing the same old day week after week.  Is going home the answer?  I don’t really know, but it’s seemed like the best option for a few months now.  I miss home, that’s all there is to it.  While living abroad was once exciting  (everything is different!  And fun!  And everyone sounds cool!) it has now become sort of routine.  A routine that is harder and harder to use as a justification for being so far away from my family.  It’s so far away from what is familiar.  Not just that every day familiarity, but that bone-deep familiarity that comes from growing up somewhere.  After four years of being the only person who talks weird and is a little bit rude with all my cut-straight-to-the-point American-ness, a large part of me yearns for familiarity.

I came back to Glasgow on Monday and it was the biggest jolt back to reality that I’ve had since I moved here.  I got into the taxi at the airport and hearing that Glaswegian accent was at once so familiar and utterly strange.  I had to remind myself, oh right, that’s what Scottish people sound like.  I’d been surrounded by people who sound just like me for two weeks and it took a minute to get used to being the different one again.  Of course, once I returned to work it took me barely a day before the Glasgow lilt came back into my speech.  Sometimes you just can’t fight it.

To be honest, I still don’t really know what the future holds for me.  I want to go back home, but I think I probably will stay here for the next year and a half.  This took a lot of deliberation and a talk with my dad, but I think it’s the right decision.  Whether it will be the right decision in another six months I don’t know.  I guess we’ll just see.  But at least for the first time in months I didn’t feel like I was about to pass out from exhaustion at work, so I think the holiday worked!

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Responses

  1. Hmmm…so another year and a half in Glascow, huh? Well, I’ll be in Seattle waiting for you to come move in with me!

    Just a note, you will continue to get these shameless little hints from me until you are permanently back state-side. 🙂

  2. Well you could always come and meet me in France first. Hint hint…


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