Posted by: Andrea | March 30, 2008

Easter minefields

I am a bad daughter because I am missing Easter.  To be more precise, I’m a bad daughter because I’ve missed the past four Easters, Thanksgivings, mom’s birthday, dad’s birthday, Halloween, 4th of July, Memorial Day and probably Arbour Day too.  I’m a bad daughter because I’m forcing my mom to spend Easter at the beach with my dad and her slightly-strange friend Diane, who is a bit lacking in social skills due to being single for the past twenty five years, instead of her children.

My mom will never say this out loud of course. 

Before my brother and sister and I were born, my mom and dad read a ton of child development books.  After lots of research, my mom decided that it would be better for her to give her children choices, instead of telling them what to do.  So for my entire childhood, instead of being told ‘pick up your school bags off the floor’ or ‘empty the dishwasher’ we were given ‘choices.’  My mom would get home and would say, ‘You know, it would really be nice if I could come in the door without tripping over your school bags.’  Apparently, this would enable us to take her feelings into consideration and pick up our school bags out of the goodness of our own hearts.

In reality, it was just a guilt trip.  And my mom was the best.  I can’t remember a single moment where she actually just told me to do something.  Of course this lasted until approximately our teens, when eye rolls weren’t enough and we all started to rebel.  When my mom would say, ‘you know, it’d sure be nice when I come home from working all day the dishwasher was emptied’ my sister would just say, ‘yeah, it would’ and continue eating chips and watching tv.

We even busted her on it one day, telling her to leave with the guilt trips already and just ask!  You want the dishwasher emptied?  Just say, ‘can you empty the dishwasher?’  Why yes, I can!  ‘Can you pick up your jacket?’  Well yes, I can!  Amazing how that works!  After totally denying it was a guilt trip at all, she agreed to just ask.  She’s gotten better, but she still likes the passive aggressive tactics over direct confrontation.  Oh my sister would laugh so hard if she read that statement.  She’s probably say ‘my ass, mom’s name should be passive aggressive.’

Anyway.  Mom’s talents reign supreme, though I haven’t had the opportunity to experience them much since I moved out of the country.  A sillier woman would have wondered if they still exist.  Oh you poor, silly woman.

I was talking on the phone the other day about what I was doing with my sister when she comes to visit over spring break.  The spring break that occurs over Easter, effectively removing from her the only child of hers still living within the US.  This slight would not be forgotten.  She explained that she was going to be going to the beach with Diane, who is currently estranged from all three of her children due to a variety of reasons, including the accusation that she was a horrible mother.  Diane had declared to my mom she had to go to the beach with her because ‘I don’t have any children anymore!’

‘Neither to I!’  My mom said back.

So don’t worry mom.  You’ve still got it.

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Responses

  1. Aren’t parents the best? My dad will do the chore himself if I don’t get to it fast enough, and then he’ll pout about it for a day. A GROWN MAN. POUTING. Yeah…nice!

    So are you back from Rome then? Pictures lady!!! 🙂


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